How to do positivity the “right” way
There’s a “right” way to be optimistic.
And there’s a “wrong” way as well.
And in my experience, 90% of people do it the wrong way.
Unfortunately, that use to include me as well.
I remember distinctly how I’d try to rev myself up with generic phrases, like “You can do anything!” and other likewise pointless statements.
And lo and behold, they never worked out.
On top of feeling disingenuous, there’s a major reason canned positivity statements like these don’t work:
They’re not based on reality.
Or, more specifically, they’re not based on YOUR reality.
Here’s what I mean:
It’s fine and all to be positive in life. In fact, it’s necessary if you want to succeed in the long run at anything you care about.
But when you use phrases like “anything’s possible!,” but have yet to accomplish anything even remotely like that phrase, the disconnect between that phrase and your reality will kill the motivational effect.
After all, we can only fool ourselves so much.
However, there IS a way to make it work.
The “correct” way to be positive in life
Rather than just blindly spewing generic motivational phrases, you can instead use something that’s “real.”
And you can do that by using motivational statements that are:
- Positive, and:
- Objectively true
That second part is important because it gets rid of the inauthentic feeling motivational phrases tend to have.
In the book “Life As Sport,” sports psychologist Dr. Jon Fader calls this “Objective Optimism.”
And he’s used this technique successfully on multiple athletes - where results (good or bad) are literally shown to the world.
(Meaning there’s no space for fluffy feel-good approaches that offer no real-life results)
Basically, all you do is look for evidence of past success in your life (or your “glimpse of genius,” as I’ve once heard from a life coach), and use that as the basis of your positive statement.
Then you just shrink it down into short, catchy, memorable phrases.
Dr. Jon Fader calls these “Mantra’s,” and they are MUCH better than plain motivational statements that nobody believes deep inside.
A few examples from the book:
- “Broadway welcomed me.” (the idea is since Broadway welcomed them in the first place, they shouldn’t be overcome with feelings of fraud)
- “In my calm, I am relentless.” (this person likely performs well when calm, so it’s become their power to fall back on)
- “Listen well, lead well.” (this is a parent who likely does a good job at listening. So they use this as evidence in their mantra and it helps them guide their kids better because of it)
As you can see, these positive statements (aka mantra’s) are both evidence based AND positive. So their motivational power is MUCH better than vanilla statements anybody can use.
In fact, NOBODY else can use statements as they’re unique to the individuals who made them.
(Well, most people can’t. At the very least, there’s a unique connection between the mantra and the person who made it)
How to create your own Mantra
If you want to use this method yourself, here’s how:
- Create a list of your past success/moments of genius
- Pick one that has relevance to your current goals
- Use that as evidence you are capable of succeeding
- Combine it with a positive statement
And voila! A perfectly working mantra.
For me, I noticed one of the times I perform best is when I competently perform a task and seem to flow smoothly and efficiently when I do it.
(Meaning I have the adequate skill, knowledge, and ability to do it quickly and easily — like writing an email or webpage)
So I came up with the phrase:
“Always be competent.”
(ABC basically)
To me, this reminds that (1) I AM capable of competence, and (2) I perform best when competent, so I should do my best to increase it at every moment.
(Meaning I should strive to implement what I learn as much as possible, so I can use them skillfully during work time)
It gets deeper than that, but there’s no need for me to explain further. All that matters is it means something to ME, and that it motivates me because it’s proven true as well.
And it’ll be the same with you.
So be on the lookout for when you’re successful or genius-like in life, and keep tabs on it.
Then transform them into positive statements you can bust out whenever you need.
You’ll likely find yourself more motivated and even proud of yourself because of it.
-Ericson
“Ericson is a motivational life coach who helps people get unstuck and moving towards their perfect life with his “Ignite Your Instinct” program. Get a FREE a life-assessment today and discover how to easily find your way towards a satisfying and fulfilling future.”
